Next fall is my target for entering seminary. I never thought that I’d head back to school. When I completed my graduate film degree from Loyola Marymunt University (LMU) in 2003, I purposed to remain in the entertainment field in some capacity until I reached retirement age. Over the last two to three years, I have seen a shift take place within me. The passion for stories remains at a fever pitch; however, my love for making movies is no longer a consuming reality. I do not eat and sleep movies or shot lists or camera angles or stewarding a production from concept to the big screen.
Something has changed inside of me. Did this shift begin two years ago? I do not know for sure, but one answer is maybe. Another response is that this shift started even farther back than two years. Nonetheless, here I am typing this post with a different outlook and set of values. I still love to read and write, which have been with me almost from the beginning. In fact, these two passions have intensified as I maintain this blog. There is a fast-flowing stream within me, which needs an outlet. This blog is a perfect channel for getting out what rumbles within. I find myself enjoying the self-discipline of harnessing this river via each post. Each word and sentence carries tremendous importance.
Truth be told, I have loved words and images ever since I was a wee child. The core of my passions burns bright and bold, but make no mistake, their expression is different. It is hard for me to pinpoint just how different because I continue to write and communicate what I see, learn, and experience. Each of those spring up from the soil of what I know. Nearly every writing instructor worth his or her salt exhorts their students to write what they know. This is exactly what I used to do with my storytelling. Of course, this begs the question of whether or not my passions have shifted, or if I’m verbalizing a misconception? Maybe there is a tension between being and doing. It seems to me that some continuity remains between who I am and what I do in the present and the past. It is also true that there is real discontinuity, too.
In the above, second paragraph, I described having an inward call or drive that is akin to a fast-flowing river. I followed that idea by describing how my passion is to write and communicate what I see, learn, and experience. My time in the entertainment field has sharpened this drive. My relationship with the Lord has harnessed this river into a life-giving outlet for others, which places me on the doorstep to seminary. Over the weekend, I stole a few hours in order to seek my God for wisdom and counsel. His Spirit lead me to the following scripture passage: “The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook” (Proverbs 18:4, ESV). It goes without saying that this spoke to me. The images of deep waters, a fountain, and a bubbling brook all fit what I have been expressing in this post. My Father in heaven described me with his word in Proverbs. It is a powerful act of defining who I am and what I do. Oh Lord, grant me the grace and mercy and faith to live in the light of Proverbs 18:4.