Good morning readers and followers…it has been exactly one week since my last post. Feel free to call me lazy or a slacker, but part of me wanted to rest, too. Writing requires something more than the impulse to write, especially when it comes to a blog like mine. Now, I may not have written a blog post, but I still kept writing. One of my daily practices is to journal my thoughts. I find that this stirs the pot and keeps things fresh. During my morning time yesterday and today, the following passages stuck with me:
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4, ESV).
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (Prov. 18:22, ESV).
“House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord” (Prov. 19:14, ESV).
Some might take issue with the fact that I left out the Prov. 31 passage. I cherish it through and through, but I wanted to focus on the above three scriptures. There is a part of me that prefers to avoid the known or the common. For me, Prov. 31 represents both what is known and common and deservedly so, but there are other passages that convey the same truth. This blog entry is my attempt to shed light on the lesser known in order to raise awareness.
All three verses apply to my lovely wife, Charity. I do see her more and more as an excellent wife who will not bring shame and rottenness. She possesses moral strength that far surpasses anything that I have seen in a woman. This is one of the main reasons that I married her. It seems to me that Charity fits the description of Prov. 12:4 to a tee. A king wears a crown to symbolize his authority and power. Solomon applies that image of kingship to a husband who has an excellent wife. Yours truly applies this verse to his wife. She represents my authority and power through her excellent character.
If I am honest with myself, I take no credit for marrying Charity. Both Prov. 18:22 and 19:14 demand that I acknowledge the real reason for having Charity in my life. The Lord brought her to me. He arranged events in such a way for me to notice Charity. In the process of dating and courting her, the Holy Spirit kept opening my eyes to the fact that he was behind it all. From my perspective, I made a real choice in choosing her rather than some other woman; however, behind my decision stood the Lord, who I knew had his eyes on me. I have found a good thing in Charity, but most importantly, God has extended his favor to me.
When I reflect upon my singleness prior to meeting Charity, I am struck by a few things. First, I made a list of qualities that I wanted in a future mate. My buddy, Eric Grant, encouraged me to do this several years ago while he and I split a two bedroom apartment on the Westside of Los Angeles. I liked the list and used it to govern who I dated. At some point, I lowered my standards in order to go out on more dates. This leads to my second point. My God gave me a wife who exceeded the list rather than meeting it.
On some level, I could say that writing my list of qualities for a future mate was a waste of time. The truth is that it was a list far below what God wanted for me and even what I wanted in a wife. Writing the list put me in a position to see God’s best in contrast to what I thought was best. I will end with this verse: “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17, ESV).